And now for something completely different

Sub-zero temps and no conversation class again last night. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm not really a Northeast Ohioan at heart. Or maybe I'm just getting older. I used to scoff at older folks who wanted to move south to escape the cold and snow, but I kind of get it now. 

Because I once again do not have an amusing or interesting anecdote about my ESOL class, I thought I'd entertain my vast blog audience with a little fiction. Long ago, before I fell deeply in love with creative nonfiction, I tried my hand at fiction with moderate success. Every tiny centimeter of that moderate success I attribute to the guidance of Robert Pope, my first college-level writing professor, and the main reason I pursued an advanced degree in writing.

I met Bob, as he likes to be called, while working at a coffee shop in West Akron during my undergraduate years. We spent many an hour after my shift was completed sipping cappuccinos and chatting about books, storytelling, and life in general. He suggested that I might enjoy one of his writing courses, Writing Short, Short Fiction, and even though I doubted any promise he saw in me, I enrolled. His class excited and terrified me, entertained and challenged me, but most of all introduced me to the experience of sharing my work with other writers. I came to love workshops more than any other part of college or grad school, and now I miss those exhilarating and frightening and stimulating hours of giving and getting feedback in the company of fellow logophiles.

This story was a product of that first workshop with Bob and a dozen or so fellow students of writing, some of whom I am still in contact with. We started by telling short tales orally, then developed them into more crafted micro fictions. I often think of this little story when it's super-cold like it has been. I hope you enjoy it.

God's Plan for Jack


Jack lived his whole life in Akron. He watched it grow up out of orchards, farmland, and woods into a tangle of crossroads and industry. He saw the first rubber factory go up, the first phone lines, the first department store downtown. He remembers when the town’s first fire truck was pulled by horses. It came to his Aunt Ida’s house in North Hill when Jack was just five and burned her house down.

He’d been playing on the braided rug in the living room, trying to build a little boat from some kindling. It was cold, long after Christmas, a little snow falling outside the frosty windows of Aunt Ida’s wood frame house. Cold inside, too, even with the little potbelly stove simmering away. You could tell it was simmering from the teapot on top, wrapped in a tea cosy Ida had knitted herself, steam wafting from its spout. Ida continuously warned Jack not to touch that potbelly stove.

“You’ll burn yourself!” was her mantra.

Jack was so cold, though. He could understand why Aunt Ida was so concerned about him burning himself. She had become very upset when Uncle George near cut his foot off chopping wood last fall. Jack would feel really bad if she had to get that upset again. So he thought pretty hard, and he figured it out.

He stretched up as tall as he could, all the way up on his tippy-toes, reached his arm up as long as he could make it, keeping his balance, careful not to lean forward and singe his wool sweater, and snatched the cosy off the teapot. He made only a brief exhale of relief before easily twisting the handle to open the door. Glorious heat spread out on his face and chest. 

He literally glowed with happiness.

Jack settled back down on the braided rug to resume his boat building. He was so proud of helping himself and not bothering his aunt. The popping of the fire reminded him of the time Aunt Ida had popped corn for him to eat. It was warm and salty and comforting. He didn’t notice the embers jumping out of the stove until one landed on his little boat and started to smolder. 

That’s when Ida came running out of the kitchen and scooped him up off the rug. She ran out into the snow, and they watched the house burn together. Jack cried a little but Aunt Ida just rubbed his back and thanked God that they were both safe.

When the fire truck finally came, Jack was mesmerized by its pair of burly draft horses. Frothy with sweat despite the cold, their breath snorting clouds of steam into the air, they seemed uninterested in the commotion, safe inside their blinders. 

Aunt Ida didn’t yell, didn’t hit Jack, didn’t say one unkind word. She just thanked God over and over that they both had escaped with their lives. She was strong in her faith and believed that everything had a place in God’s plan. She lived with Jack’s family the rest of her life.

Years later, when Jack got a baseball scholarship to that big university on the east coast, Ida was too frail even to get out of her chair and hug the young man. 

“Don’t burn the place down,” was all she said to him.

Gratitude


We didn’t have class again last night, and it was again due to the frigid weather. So in lieu of an amusing post about our attempts at cross-cultural conversation, I have put together a list of reasons I am grateful, despite the aforementioned weather. My list is not exhaustive and is in no particular order.

1. Brilliant sunshine pours through my windows this morning, making the snow and icicles sparkle like diamonds.
2. I got all my shopping done at Marc’s today in less than one hour.
3. My car started with no trouble today, and I was able to drive my husband to his job so that he wouldn’t have to walk very far in the ridiculous cold.
4. I have an electric blanket to keep me toasty while I read or watch television, without having to crank the heat up too high.
5. I have heat in my home that can be cranked up high, if desired.
6. I got to spend all of Tuesday afternoon with my mom.
7. I have a pretty easy job with a great boss who cares about my well-being and treats all of his employees with kindness and respect.
8. A freelance prospect contacted me today and said that a little work will be coming my way soon.
9. I have this entire day to live as I wish, to do or not do whatever comes to my mind.
10. Odin is my healthy, happy, spry feline companion on this sunny day.

While winter continues to hold us in an icy grip, I am biding my time until spring by practicing active gratitute for all the wonderful aspects of my life. I may not be able to go out for a walk today, but I can see and hear and think and walk up and down the stairs in my house and imagine and read and sing and laugh. So I will do all of those things and appreciate the bounty of my life in a free, peaceful country, with a loving spouse and family, while I look forward to our class meeting next week.

Mother Issues


“I learned a new word group ‘mother nature’ by your email. If let me guess what’s that mean without help of context and dictionary, I would say mother nature is the selfless love from mother to her baby...”

This was Yuwei’s response to my email about canceling our class this week due to freezing weather conditions. My email was worded this way: “I know I emailed you all about going to the museum tonight, but it seems Mother Nature has other plans for us.”

I can completely understand how Yuwei formulated his guess about the meaning of “mother nature.” It makes perfect sense to think this pair of words is referring to the characteristic of a mother loving her child--the ‘nature’ of a new mother. His attempt follows closely last week’s discussion of the quarantiƱa and post-delivery baby care.  

Most of all, I am delighted that he took a stab at guessing the meaning of a phrase that was new to him. 

Yuwei’s errant guess highlights the difficulty new language learners inevitably have with idioms. 

When the French want to say that they are hung-over from too much drink the night before, they say they are “sick in the hair” or they “have a mouth of wood.” Anyone who has overindulged can attest to the headache that might make the movement of a lock of hair feel painful or the dry tongue that is reluctant to form words, so these colorful euphemisms make a lot of sense. 

I never really thought of Mother Nature as being idiomatic; the phrase must have been presented to me when I was very young, and probably within the context of a book or discussion about the “great outdoors,” so it always seemed, well, natural to me.

I was happy to reply to Yuwei that Mother Nature has nothing to do with an actual mother, but is, in fact, the way we personify nature and the natural world, sometimes the earth, itself. My example was that a person going camping for the weekend might say she is “going to commune with Mother Nature.” 

In this week’s particular case, however, Mother Nature is not the benevolent, fecund mother of lush forests and outdoor activities. Right now, she is a stern, frigid matriarch forcing us all to endure her long winter absence. She is apparently vacationing somewhere in the south, lounging on a sandy shore with her toes in warm, salty water and a fresh, juicy orange on her lips.

Perhaps she will return to us in a few months. For now, all we can do is learn of her as a metaphor.

"It's easy to see the beginning of things, and harder to see the ends." -Joan Didion


Groundhog Day. Post-pregnancy care. Roller skating. Snowmen.

These are some of the topics our conversation touched on in this week’s ESOL class. I had suggested they all look something up about Groundhog Day, a folk tradition dear to my heart. My mom grew up in Punxsutwaney, Pennsylvania, and I spent part of every summer there throughout my childhood years. I’ve been to the Groundhog Day Festival--the biggest, most important day on the Punxsutawney social and fiscal calendar every year--twice, so I can attest to the way it transforms a sleepy, rural, former coal and railway hub into a bustling winter vacation destination for one day a year.  

I know we began there, with Groundhog Day, but how did we get to roller skating?

Even when I follow the thread backward, I come to a gap eventually. I brought up other cultural and religious traditions observed by some on February 2nd, Candlemas and Imbolc, so we talked about those for a bit. This naturally led to the idea of post-pregnancy care. Candlemas is also known among Catholics as the Presentation of Jesus at the Temple because it was ostensibly forty days after Mary had given birth to Jesus, and, therefore, the day she would have taken him to temple for blessing. This is very similar to the quarantiƱa tradition in many Hispanic cultures. And because Luz Alba attended class this week, she was able to help explain what that is.

“When the mother give birth,” she began, “she don’t do any washing or cleaning. She doesn’t od anything, just keep with her baby.”

“Who does all her cleaning and cooking for her?” I asked.

“Her family,” she said. “They come and cook soup for her and clean her things. She just take care of her baby.”

Yuwei told us of a similar tradition in Chinese cultures.

“When the lady have baby,” he said, “she is weak. If she touch any cold water, it is likely she will get sick. So she not do any cleaning. Her family do it for her and she just rest. If she rest, and not touch any cold water, she will get stronger and the baby will be strong. Family cook some soup for her, and she get strong.”

Our conversation lingered a bit on this topic. Even Van--so reticent usually--piped up once or twice about how little maternity leave most American companies allow, when compared to Europeans, and how more people should practice this forty-day post-birth care regimen.

It’s the segue from this topic to roller skating that is hazy for me. I imagine it probably had something to with discussing the weather, always a popular and rich topic in Ohio. It might have been specifically about ways to keep sane and relieve stress when all the world around you looks like the set of The Shining, and you’re beginning to feel like Jack: all work and no play. 

Several years ago, my husband and I decided to try roller skating at a local rink on Saturday mornings as a way of alleviating our (okay, my) winter blues. I never learned to skate as a kid, so my aging muscles had no memory of how to balance on wheels, let alone how to propel my body forward in a graceful way. Dave was patient and kind and tried to coach me, but I fell more often than I circumnavigated the rink. My wrists, collar-bone, and tailbone soon bore the bruises of my attempts, and before too long I abandoned the endeavor. When six- and seven-year-olds outpace you, it’s hard to feel very good about yourself.

“But I love to watch roller skaters,” I told my class. “It looks so cool when people do it well to really fun music.”

They all nodded in agreement.

“My young brother can skate,” Yuwei offered. “We have a large table in our house in China, and he can go all the way around it without stopping, without touching the wall. I tried but could not do it.”

I know exactly how he feels. 

From there, the conversation is quite amorphous in my mind. I was tired from a long day of work, and Yuwei, Luz Alba, and Van were all tired, too. At a couple of points, the conversation completely dissipated, and we all sat in silence for moments on end.

We wrapped up a little early, mercifully so, as I hadn’t had dinner yet. Before leaving, Luz Alba approached me.

“Maybe next week,” she said, “we go to Panera bread or somewhere. Do something else maybe...”

She trailed off and it took me a minute to respond because I wasn’t entirely sure I had understood her well.

“Oh,” I finally replied. ‘Do something? Go somewhere instead of just sit down here? Yes! That’s a great idea!”

I suggested we go to the Akron Art Museum, right across High Street, because a friend of mine has curated a new exhibit there, Living with Art. I’ve also heard the other exhibits showing right now are not to be missed. 
Again, I don’t quite remember how that conversation ended, but end it did, and we each made our way back out into the frozen night. Perhaps next week will be more memorable, seeing as how we will venture out of the library basement and into a new environment.